Terrorists in the Trees

Suicide squirrels have launched a nationwide assault on freedom-loving Americans, including our most vulnerable. (Won't someone please think of the children??) Below is a column by Mike Licht at the Notions Capital Blog, updated to list the recent strikes.

Terrorists Strike U.S. Infrastructure

Despite billions spent on homeland security, the Obama Administration is Bush-league when it comes to defending America’s vital power grid from home-grown terrorists. Known to experts as Sciurus carolinensis, these sly, suicidal saboteurs infiltrate transformer stations at will, denying thousands of loyal Americans their God-given right to power up their Chinese-made flat-screen TVs.

Washington National Airport Emergency Drill

Another day, another (simulated) mass casualty incident. On Sept. 18, DisasterMan participated in an emergency exercise simulating a plane crash at Washington National Airport. Pictures and videos from this exercise and others are in the photo gallery.

When Animals Attack

Illegal aliens are trying to penetrate our homeland's borders. No, not human, nor extraterrestrial-type aliens, but rather a Noah's Ark-worth of beasties.

Last month, we had the guy trying to smuggle 18 monkeys under his shirt. Now it's 14 Giant African Land Snails. They grow as large as 8 inches long and 4 inches tall. They're illegal because they're an invasive species. (Plus they're just gross.)

Other live animals found in people's luggage include snakes, crocodiles, turtles, frogs, scorpions, spiders, cockroaches, a tiger cub hidden among stuffed animals, and a chihuahua in a carry-on duffel bag, which was sent through the X-ray machine. (At least that's better than sending a baby through the X-ray.)

Discovery Channel Hostage Incident

(At the time, DisasterMan worked close enough to Discovery HQ to see the siege from his office window.)

The incident:

• His demands 
• Audio recordings: 911 calls and police radio communications
• Pictures: View from a neighboring building 
• Police were willing to wait, but hostages made a break for it and forced their hand.
• His gun was a starter pistol, but the bombs were real and more were in his home.
• Did you know?: In Montgomery County, MD, all police uses of deadly force automatically go to a grand jury.

The gunman, James J. Lee:

• Arguing with anti-birth-control protestors about overpopulation [Video]
• Attending an anti-war rally with a sign saying: "The Hell with the troops. Disarm them and make them clean up depleted uranium.” [Video]
• His 2008 protests at Discovery

Live-Blogging the Discovery Gunman

Update, 9 pm: Police are still blocking the street. I guess they're still looking for other bombs.

Update, 5 pm: The Washington Post is reporting he's been shot and the hostages freed.

2 pm: A gunman stormed the Discovery Channel HQ in Silver Spring. He reportedly fired one or more shots; took hostages; and claims to have bombs. See the "DC Area Emergency Info" tab above for links to local media sources, including live video.

Turns out this guy is James Lee, who held protests at Discovery a couple of years ago.

Here are Lee's demands: