"Mexican authorities searching a man with a bulge under his shirt at the airport ... found 18 monkeys hidden beneath his clothes."Will those terrorists stop at nothing? And why do monkeys hate freedom?
"Look, pilots, we know that times are tough, but when security asks you to remove your belt and shoes, you probably shouldn't laugh and drop your pants, ok."Well, at least they could see he wasn't smuggling any monkeys.
"'Haiti was struck by an earthquake that caused widespread destruction and killed approximately 222,000 people. The next month, Chile was hit by one approximately 500 times stronger ... but only 500 people died. Why the disparity?'Oh, that explains it: Haitians hate freedom!
"That’s the question addressed in an interesting piece ... 'Disaster Politics: Why Earthquakes Rock Democracies Less.'"
Then again, that Iranian cleric said earthquakes are caused by women dressing provocatively, so maybe it's only the Haitian women who hate freedom.
"BP Cleanup Workers Gone Wild: ... on Ground Isle, Louisiana ... dozens of men watch strippers dance around and then tussle inside the bouncy inflatable ring ...Damn! Now they'll get earthquakes too! Those folks just can't catch a break!
"Plastic cups full of baby oil are auctioned off, along with the right to rub their contents over one of the thong-bikinied gals. 'I hope there's no dispersant in that oil!' someone quips.Figures. We already knew they hate freedom.
"Cortez... has spent $200 of his $1,000 paycheck already ... He gestures expansively at the scene ... 'Sponsored by BP!' he yells, laughing ..."
We should change the name of "English muffins" to "freedom muffins."
