[Thick accent, barely intelligible English] "My neighbor won't let me park in front of his house. But I'm on the street." "Sir, what is he doing to stop you from parking there?" "He says I can't." "Sir, the street is county property, so you can park there." "But what if he calls me poopy-pants?" "Then you say, 'sticks and stones...'"
OK, I made up that last bit. But people arguing (quietly & w/o violence) was a significant percentage. "I need you to send an officer. The towing company won't give my son his car, and they're being sarcastic and obnoxious..."
A supermarket manager reports a car with a man and a woman screaming, "Get off me! I'm sick of this abuse!" Two patrol cars are dispatched, five more decide to join them. The man's walked away by the time they get there; the woman's fine and doesn't want to file a complaint. Supermarket manager: "You have to chase him!" "Why?" "I don't know."
[Officer to dispatch] "This lady [the manager] is cuckoo. She was hyperventilating about skateboarders last week."
[Dispatcher to me] "That officer's got a bad sunburn, so she picked the wrong guy to ask for a chase."
"In custody, male and female having sex in the mall bathroom..."
I'm glad MoCo's Finest are here to serve and protect.
