A Pitt Too Far

There's a full search and rescue call-out for a missing 83-year-old man. I'm in the negative on leave, but technically I'm allowed to go another day or two in the hole. Except it's near Pittsburgh, a 9-hour round trip. With my luck, they'd find him by the time we got there. (Wouldn't be the first time.)
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Update: The missing 83-year old disappeared when he went to take out the trash and never came back. He has dementia, so it was thought he wandered off (as such people tend to do). But how far could he have gotten?

----- Original Message ------
Received: 09:23 AM EDT, 04/05/2012
From: ASRC Dispatch

Search suspended. Subject likely to have taken bus to other area.
Might restart if more information is found.

Tornado Alley: Chesapeake?

The Washington Post reports a "shocking" statistic, namely that Maryland has had the 3rd highest density of tornadoes over the past two decades, beaten out only by Kansas and Florida. How is it we have more than the other Great Plains states?

Key word: density. That is, the statistic is the number of tornadoes per 10,000 square miles. That's a bit misleading. In raw numbers, Texas has the highest number (155), followed by Kansas (96), and Florida (66). As you'd expect, the other large numbers are in the central U.S. -- the so-called "Tornado Alley" -- and the deep South (sometimes called "Dixie Alley").

Competition From Batman

The local blog Silver Spring Singular broke the story: police pulled over Batman in our area. For not having tags on his Batmobile.

Hey, I've got dibs here! When I'm lurking in the DisasterCave, and the Discovery Building lights start to pulse [http://youtu.be/M4K6uZInl-c], I want to be able to respond without this guy showing up to upstage me. In his black Lamborghini. Before I get there on foot.

Unfortunately, when the County Police tweeted a confirmation, the other tweeters' sympathies seemed to be with Die Fledermaus.

"LET HIM DO HIS JOB."

"Another case of DWB [Driving While Batman]"
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Police video of the traffic stop

Cat Food

A missing hiker was found after 42 days in the woods. Rescuers reported "she's alive. And she's got a cat."

"Authorities said Margaret Page, 41, took some food with her but ran out, and stayed alive by drinking water from a nearby creek. She fed her cat, Miya, with cat food she had packed."

Damn, I knew my survival kit was missing something.

I wonder if they really taste like chicken.

Bigfoot exercises

There's a series of emergency exercises going on this year entitled "Formidable Footprint" -- which sounds like euphemism for Bigfoot. Some individual exercise names are:

Operation Acorn Drop
Outbreak Anarchy
Pandemic Pandemonium
Accommodating Accommodations

Campus Whirlwind [reap it!]
Felonious Fog [arrest it!]
Extreme Exposure [Mountain Dew and skateboards?]
Mailstrom Mayhem [spam attack?]
Rumble In The Rubble [wrestling event?]

Alien Hail

I thought the Weekly World News went out of business, but apparently they still exist online. Good thing: as they describe themselves, they are "the world's only reliable news."

ALIENS BALLS FALLING ON U.S.

Large metallic balls dropping across the U.S. (and Africa). NASA and the U.N. confirmed the alien balls are from Planet Zeeba.

The hollow balls with a circumference of between 4 and 10 feet have been found all across the U.S. in the last forty-eight hours, according to authorities with NASA and the United Nations Panel on Extraterrestrials.

With a diameter of 3 to 6 feet, the balls have a rough surface and appear to consist of “two halves welded together.”

Preparing for Tsunamis in the U.S.

After the 2004 Indian Ocean tsunami, the National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration (NOAA) added to its tsunami sensors so they now ring most of the Pacific Ocean. As a result, Hawaii was warned about the recent Japan tsunami 7 hours before it reached them.

Sensors are also in the Atlantic. It's highly unlikely one will happen there -- but one possible scenario could dwarf what happened in Japan.

CAPSHIELD 12 - Day 2

Today we spent hours scouring semi-collapsed buildings looking for survivors, and hauled out seven people on stretchers -- which we then carried 100 yards. As one of 4 litter bearers, my share of the weight was 40-50 lbs for each. It wasn't that bad, but I was exhausted by the end.

We'd found every body in every building, and transported all the survivors... but then they told us to do an eighth, just for show, because VIPs were watching. This one was from decon: 200 yards, mostly uphill. Ugh.

Finally, we wrapped for the day, had some pizza, and went home to nurse our own injuries.